7.16.2006

Catching up

I jogged in mom's posh neighborhood today in my ratty running shoes and cut off gymwear and no deodorant, after having coffee and English muffins with the ladies of my family at a ridiculously early hour on a Sunday morning. The run about did me in - I'm used to flat Florida and these North Carolina hills are NO JOKE. Burn, thighs, Burn!

They all went out antiquing again today; without me, thank you very much. Couldn't do it two days in a row, I just don't have that female stamina for shopping. My Aunt B called me a shopping wimp. Hah. Instead, I read a fashion magazine from cover to cover and napped on the sun porch. It was delightful. Quiet house, at least for now. They'll be back before long and then my aunt Anne will be here to add to the female squadron that is my family. There will be trout for dinner and lemon-drop martinis and velvet hammer conversation.

I just want more Pirates. Yo ho.

7.14.2006

From the Smoky Mountains with love

I seem to have found my voice again.

I know the last post might seem a little corny. I care not. After all the years with C, I never had the words to fit what was in my heart but last week they came to me in a complete spill over the course of three days. I was preparing to fly to North Carolina to visit Mom for her birthday and was utterly convinced that my plane would go down in flames over Georgia, so I showed it to him last night before I shut my computer down so that he would know that I after 15 years was finally able to write a love poem that did him justice. And I posted it today after my flight landed safely - for all the world to know in case my return flight is the one that goes down in flames. Or even in case it doesn't and we really do end up old folk together so the world will know that it really is possible to have a love like that. Rock solid, fierce and real.

Have spent the day with Mom, Nanny and Aunt B. Lovely in every way. Wine and gourmet lunch after we arrived; a visit to Mom's renovation project and garden; coffee and espresso beans and dishing over fashion at Port City Java and now at M's house listening to old school Linda Rondstadt.

Keep the faith. It's an ugly world but still the beauty shines through. We are all but pilgrims on our way to higher ground.

For My Beloved Charles:

I heard my soulmate before I saw him.

Summer 1991

His voice rumbled like iron and velvet through my skin and into my spirit

And then I saw his face his eyes like deep water his mouth an impertinent invitation

he stood and walked that long legged walk and I was aflame

with the knowledge that I would be his to toy with and he mine

Not too so many days later I stood next to him in a borrowed kitchen on KP duty soapy

hands grabbing his shirt and sticking my face in his and leaning him hard into the refrigerator while

my tongue asked him and he answered yes to my delight while

just on the other side of the wall sat a room full of people watching Monty Python and The Holy Grail

And after many years

tears

throes

scratches and laughter

bruises and banter

and love like nothing else matters

making us strong his voice still rumbles like iron and velvet in my heart.

I love you Charles always